Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Vaccinations & the Time I Got My Ears Pierced

Yesterday's post had to be written because it was significant and I can't and don't want to pretend like shit like that doesn't happen. It can't be parties and sunshine all the time. 
Today I'm going to keep it light - I finally wrote an "About Me" section. See that big ass picture to the right? Yeah, that's it. Go ahead, click it. I dare you. 

In other happenings - I have to get my one and only vaccination (for my trip) this week. Yay. No. But at least it's just one and not fifty like the last time. And at least my appointment is in the morning and I have the rest of the day off to party recover. Silver linings people, silver linings. 
And speaking of silver (she's old, silver hair? Get it? No? Ok.) I was trying to find a really good, traumatizing, cry baby gif of getting a shot and this is what I found. Come on. The only semi realistic part about this picture is the Dr. having a grande ol' time. WHO SMILES WHILE THEY GET SHOT!? No one. That's who. 
For me it's more like this 
is that Mindy Kahling!? I think it is. I'd be slightly less upset than that kid 
if Mindy Kahling were my Dr. Just sayin. 

Anyway, if you think I'm joking lemme tell you about the time I got my ears pierced. When I was 4 I begged my mom to let me get my ears pierced... or so she said. I don't actually remember "begging" to get holes put in my ears with a plastic gun but who am I to say? I mean, my parents never lied to me.
But I digress... 
On my 5th birthday my mom took me to The Earring Tree in the mall. That was back when you got your ears pierced at a kiosk by a 17 year old "professional" who moonlighted as a babysitter. 
So we get to the kiosk and they open they little swinging door to let me in, swoop me up on to a stool, do the whole marking my ears thing and POW! Shot me right in the ear! I FLIPPED! Seriously, if life handed out awards for 'Most Dramatic Scene in a Shopping Mall' I would've won. My mother, being a mom, tried to reverse psychologize me when I jumped off of the stool and declared "NO MORE!" 

"Ok, ok, we can go. You can have one ear pierced like a boy." 
(For all of you youngsters, it was the 80's, zero boys had both ears pierced - that was strictly a girl thing.)
Much to her surprise it didn't work. (Really? Didn't she know me?) I was all "Saweeet! Let's blow this pop stand! Later you evil ear gun slinging B! Joke's on you! My mom just said we're out!" 
But no. No she didn't. She MADE me sit back down. I immediately started crying again and the piercer girl felt so awful that she gave me a piece of candy. Since I was still hyperventilating I started to choke! And that's when the bitch shot me in the other ear! It was a nasty trick. Talk about kicking me when I'm down. But then it was over and even though I was pouting and whining and "super angry" I was secretly feeling like the coolest 5 year old ever - like mini Madonna. 
Nowadays I don't cry when the needles come out. Instead I whine and cringe, get nauseous and demand to lay down. I've come a long way. 
And that's my story. 

Happy Tuesday everyone! 
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  1. I like your "About" page! Also I hate shots too. Getting blood drawn is even worse because its like a shot that keeps on going. In that second picture, the little kid's dad looks like he's crying too!

    1. Thank you! And yes! Getting blood drawn is the absolute worst! I always freak out that they're taking too much and I always ask a billion times if they're sure they really need it because Im pretty sure I need it more than they do! ;)