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Wednesday, February 15, 2012
St. Valentine's Recap
i ripped a hole in my shirt within the first 10 minutes of being at work, got stuck in traffic for 40 minutes on my way home & had to crawl inside a trash can not once but twice (when i say "crawl inside a trash can" i'm not being dramatic. i literally had to tip a giant trash can on it's side and crawl in. twice.)
BUT
gabe came in for a surprise visit & later mel came too, i got 3 boxes of chocolates, gave some sweet valentines to my fav babes, bought my homeless BF coffee, went to dinner & got flowers.
balance, ya know what i mean?
BUT
gabe came in for a surprise visit & later mel came too, i got 3 boxes of chocolates, gave some sweet valentines to my fav babes, bought my homeless BF coffee, went to dinner & got flowers.
balance, ya know what i mean?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day
I love Valentine's Day. I've ALWAYS loved Valentine's Day.
Whether I was single, taken, heartbroken, indifferent, had a billion crushes and even when I hated boys all together I've ALWAYS LOVED Valentine's Day.
The reason is simple really,
Valentine's Day is a day of HOPE. Even the most anti Cupid "Valentine's Day is a stupid Hallmark holiday blah blah blah" grump of a person is at least a teeny, tiny bit hopeful that somehow, some way, their secret admirer, secret crush, long lost or yet to be found will surprise them with a little love.
The best part is, the hope lasts all day and night!
I know some people might say "Yeah but what happens when NOTHING happens?"
Well, that's the day AFTER Valentine's Day and we're talking February 14th NOT the 15th.
Feel however you want to feel on the 15th... angry, sad, disappointed, suicidal, whatever but don't start a day early. At least wait. Give yourself that one day to be happy and hopeful. Even if it's secretly happy and hopeful. It feels good and it's fun!
Here are some of my super dumb Valentine's Days:
When I was in 10th grade I had a major crush on a boy I'll call EK. EK was a freshman and had absolutely no interest in me whatsoever. I don't even think he knew who I was because we never spoke. I just figured out his class schedule and made sure to pass him in the hallways as often as possible. At our school you could buy carnations and have them delivered to whomever you'd like on Valentine's Day. Obviously I bought one for EK and signed it Your Secret Admirer (original, I know) I sat in class that day hoping I'd get one but when I didn't I focused on how awesome it would be to see EK walking around with mine. To my surprise I never once saw him with a single carnation in his hands but when I got to 7th period French JB had one. When I asked her who it was from she told me EK had given it to her. The End.
When I was in 11th grade I had a bf, a really shitty bf who decided he wasn't going to call me on Valentine's Day. Another boy called me as soon as I got home from school and asked if I wanted to go see Boyz II Men and Brandy. DUH! I didn't like the boy. He liked me. We both liked Boyz II Men. We both knew the facts. I would have been fine staying home waiting by the phone but he wanted to spend VDay with someone he liked because he HOPED that maybe I'd change my mind. (I didn't but whatever. I may or may not have thrown up in front of him at some point later that year and I think that changed his mind.)
Anyway, back to the story, so I had to ask my dad who reluctantly said yes after being very specific about the rules and my curfew.
No pre or post hanging out. To the concert and straight home.
Long story short, we got a flat tire on the way home. I was super late, my dad didn't believe me and I got in big trouble for it.
Just after midnight my stupid bf called "Oh man, I totally forgot today was Valentine's Day."
and I got yelled at my by dad again for a boy calling my house that late.
(Shitty bf never made it up to me and all I got for VDay that year was in trouble)
The End.
When I was 22ish I met a dude on the highway. My BFF and I were driving to Wisconsin or Chicago or somewhere and this super cute guy was driving next to us. Somehow I ended up giving him my phone # (notepad? hand signals? I don't remember) and we started talking.
He was in med school and well, that should have been my first clue it'd never work. Ha. He also lived far so we kept it to short phone calls and text messages for a few months. Valentine's Day rolled around and the BFF and I decided we were going to be each other's Valentine, stay home, watch the Vagina Monologues on HBO and hate on dudes all night. We had even decorated our apartment with black hearts.... big black hearts, small black hearts, tiny black hearts... they were everywhere.
Anyway, Highway Guy called me the morning of Valentine's Day and asked if I wanted to see a movie later. I'm still not sure to this day whether or not he realized it was Valentine's Day but I said yes, called the BFF and bailed on her. She was pissed obviously but we both agreed that she'd have done the same to me if a guy as cute as Highway Guy called and asked her out. So Highway Guy shows up to my apartment, I had never been on a date let alone a half blind date (I'd only seen him from the shoulders up remember) so I was dressed the way I always dressed back then, black tshirt, jeans, studded belt and I'll guess my red Sauconys (I was a hardcore girl. Come on) I'm not sure if it was my attire, the black hearts everywhere or a combo of both but dude was NOT impressed and neither was I. He was as preppy as preppy comes. (We now refer to his type as a Bro) The date stopped being a date right then and there. We went to the movie and he brought me back home immediately. We never spoke again. The End.
I'm not going to talk about the year of A & M... awkward
I will talk about the stalker of mine who gave me a crinkled Valentine when I got off the bus the day before Valentine's Day... it said something about how he'd noticed I never smiled while I walked to or from work (I was walking from the bus to and from work. Who smiles?) and that no one should be alone on Vday. His number was chicken scratched at the bottom.
I started getting off at an earlier stop from that day on even though it meant walking a few extra blocks.
And I'll tell you that one VDay I woke up to a note stuck on my car from some psycho talking about how he hated me and loved me at the same time and he was drunk and probably wouldn't remember writing this but to call him anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I've had some super awesome Valentine's Days too... BUT the point is, even after the shitty ones, I STILL LOVE V Day sooooo...
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
<3 <3 <3 <3
Whether I was single, taken, heartbroken, indifferent, had a billion crushes and even when I hated boys all together I've ALWAYS LOVED Valentine's Day.
The reason is simple really,
Valentine's Day is a day of HOPE. Even the most anti Cupid "Valentine's Day is a stupid Hallmark holiday blah blah blah" grump of a person is at least a teeny, tiny bit hopeful that somehow, some way, their secret admirer, secret crush, long lost or yet to be found will surprise them with a little love.
The best part is, the hope lasts all day and night!
I know some people might say "Yeah but what happens when NOTHING happens?"
Well, that's the day AFTER Valentine's Day and we're talking February 14th NOT the 15th.
Feel however you want to feel on the 15th... angry, sad, disappointed, suicidal, whatever but don't start a day early. At least wait. Give yourself that one day to be happy and hopeful. Even if it's secretly happy and hopeful. It feels good and it's fun!
Here are some of my super dumb Valentine's Days:
When I was in 10th grade I had a major crush on a boy I'll call EK. EK was a freshman and had absolutely no interest in me whatsoever. I don't even think he knew who I was because we never spoke. I just figured out his class schedule and made sure to pass him in the hallways as often as possible. At our school you could buy carnations and have them delivered to whomever you'd like on Valentine's Day. Obviously I bought one for EK and signed it Your Secret Admirer (original, I know) I sat in class that day hoping I'd get one but when I didn't I focused on how awesome it would be to see EK walking around with mine. To my surprise I never once saw him with a single carnation in his hands but when I got to 7th period French JB had one. When I asked her who it was from she told me EK had given it to her. The End.
When I was in 11th grade I had a bf, a really shitty bf who decided he wasn't going to call me on Valentine's Day. Another boy called me as soon as I got home from school and asked if I wanted to go see Boyz II Men and Brandy. DUH! I didn't like the boy. He liked me. We both liked Boyz II Men. We both knew the facts. I would have been fine staying home waiting by the phone but he wanted to spend VDay with someone he liked because he HOPED that maybe I'd change my mind. (I didn't but whatever. I may or may not have thrown up in front of him at some point later that year and I think that changed his mind.)
Anyway, back to the story, so I had to ask my dad who reluctantly said yes after being very specific about the rules and my curfew.
No pre or post hanging out. To the concert and straight home.
Long story short, we got a flat tire on the way home. I was super late, my dad didn't believe me and I got in big trouble for it.
Just after midnight my stupid bf called "Oh man, I totally forgot today was Valentine's Day."
and I got yelled at my by dad again for a boy calling my house that late.
(Shitty bf never made it up to me and all I got for VDay that year was in trouble)
The End.
When I was 22ish I met a dude on the highway. My BFF and I were driving to Wisconsin or Chicago or somewhere and this super cute guy was driving next to us. Somehow I ended up giving him my phone # (notepad? hand signals? I don't remember) and we started talking.
He was in med school and well, that should have been my first clue it'd never work. Ha. He also lived far so we kept it to short phone calls and text messages for a few months. Valentine's Day rolled around and the BFF and I decided we were going to be each other's Valentine, stay home, watch the Vagina Monologues on HBO and hate on dudes all night. We had even decorated our apartment with black hearts.... big black hearts, small black hearts, tiny black hearts... they were everywhere.
Anyway, Highway Guy called me the morning of Valentine's Day and asked if I wanted to see a movie later. I'm still not sure to this day whether or not he realized it was Valentine's Day but I said yes, called the BFF and bailed on her. She was pissed obviously but we both agreed that she'd have done the same to me if a guy as cute as Highway Guy called and asked her out. So Highway Guy shows up to my apartment, I had never been on a date let alone a half blind date (I'd only seen him from the shoulders up remember) so I was dressed the way I always dressed back then, black tshirt, jeans, studded belt and I'll guess my red Sauconys (I was a hardcore girl. Come on) I'm not sure if it was my attire, the black hearts everywhere or a combo of both but dude was NOT impressed and neither was I. He was as preppy as preppy comes. (We now refer to his type as a Bro) The date stopped being a date right then and there. We went to the movie and he brought me back home immediately. We never spoke again. The End.
I'm not going to talk about the year of A & M... awkward
I will talk about the stalker of mine who gave me a crinkled Valentine when I got off the bus the day before Valentine's Day... it said something about how he'd noticed I never smiled while I walked to or from work (I was walking from the bus to and from work. Who smiles?) and that no one should be alone on Vday. His number was chicken scratched at the bottom.
I started getting off at an earlier stop from that day on even though it meant walking a few extra blocks.
And I'll tell you that one VDay I woke up to a note stuck on my car from some psycho talking about how he hated me and loved me at the same time and he was drunk and probably wouldn't remember writing this but to call him anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I've had some super awesome Valentine's Days too... BUT the point is, even after the shitty ones, I STILL LOVE V Day sooooo...
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
<3 <3 <3 <3
Monday, February 13, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
this is random
i always thought that i believed in reincarnation
until i really thought about it. i mean,
if i really believed in reincarnation would i still be here,
as you know me? if you believed in it would you?
until i really thought about it. i mean,
if i really believed in reincarnation would i still be here,
as you know me? if you believed in it would you?
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
My new favorite waltz
we didn't spend our life together
and i will miss you forever.
the choice was mine, to long for a time that will never come.
though we leave the world apart
i still went peacefully, quietly
with you still firmly in my heart.
i will wait forever... i wait.
and i will miss you forever.
the choice was mine, to long for a time that will never come.
though we leave the world apart
i still went peacefully, quietly
with you still firmly in my heart.
i will wait forever... i wait.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I hadn't even noticed
"Brother Jim loved to talk about how Jesus wasn't a pussy.
'You see that guy crucified up there?' he yelled.
'You see him? Are his hands closed? NO! Is he making a fist? NO! What does that mean to you? It means something to me. It means he could have just gotten down off that cross anytime he liked, and come down and WASTED all those Roman gladiator motherfuckers. But he kept his hands OPEN! He let go! For YOU! And you sit here and look at that dead guy up there and you don't even notice!"
I'd probably love/believe in/think Jesus was legit if this is how they spun it at Vacation Bible School. Annnd yes, I went to Vacation Bible School in the summers when I was younger. It was only a week long and at the end of the week there was a carnival. I suffered through boring bible shit for the carnival. I only cared about the carnival because there were games and you could win cool stuff. One year I won a gold fish and called it Olivia after Olivia Newton John. The next year I used my tickets to buy balloons. I left with SO many balloons... too many to fit anywhere. They filled up my bedroom and I thought it was the funniest thing ever. My mother wasn't as amused. We shared a room and she was stuck dodging balloons for days.
We weren't religious. My grandparents, who we lived with were Catholic but my mother was an atheist. I think she was ok with me going to Bible School because it was free babysitting for a week.
Anyway, my life would probably be so different if Brother Jim taught any of our classes.
'You see that guy crucified up there?' he yelled.
'You see him? Are his hands closed? NO! Is he making a fist? NO! What does that mean to you? It means something to me. It means he could have just gotten down off that cross anytime he liked, and come down and WASTED all those Roman gladiator motherfuckers. But he kept his hands OPEN! He let go! For YOU! And you sit here and look at that dead guy up there and you don't even notice!"
I'd probably love/believe in/think Jesus was legit if this is how they spun it at Vacation Bible School. Annnd yes, I went to Vacation Bible School in the summers when I was younger. It was only a week long and at the end of the week there was a carnival. I suffered through boring bible shit for the carnival. I only cared about the carnival because there were games and you could win cool stuff. One year I won a gold fish and called it Olivia after Olivia Newton John. The next year I used my tickets to buy balloons. I left with SO many balloons... too many to fit anywhere. They filled up my bedroom and I thought it was the funniest thing ever. My mother wasn't as amused. We shared a room and she was stuck dodging balloons for days.
We weren't religious. My grandparents, who we lived with were Catholic but my mother was an atheist. I think she was ok with me going to Bible School because it was free babysitting for a week.
Anyway, my life would probably be so different if Brother Jim taught any of our classes.
...
i got nothin and a whole lot more of it than anything right now.
dear me,
when the nothings start being everythings and you feel it happening slowly you can worry and you will write. until then, revel in oblivion. find satisfaction in being underwhelmed. remember that being empty is the same as being full, the only difference is a heart attack.
love, me
"until you are still, i will always be still"
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