Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Hump Day Confession:

I actually have nothing to confess... but 
I can show you my nails from the last week! 
These look so much cooler in person. 
Oops a little blurry but you get it

The Hump Day Blog Hop

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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Vaccinations & the Time I Got My Ears Pierced

Yesterday's post had to be written because it was significant and I can't and don't want to pretend like shit like that doesn't happen. It can't be parties and sunshine all the time. 
Today I'm going to keep it light - I finally wrote an "About Me" section. See that big ass picture to the right? Yeah, that's it. Go ahead, click it. I dare you. 

In other happenings - I have to get my one and only vaccination (for my trip) this week. Yay. No. But at least it's just one and not fifty like the last time. And at least my appointment is in the morning and I have the rest of the day off to party recover. Silver linings people, silver linings. 
And speaking of silver (she's old, silver hair? Get it? No? Ok.) I was trying to find a really good, traumatizing, cry baby gif of getting a shot and this is what I found. Come on. The only semi realistic part about this picture is the Dr. having a grande ol' time. WHO SMILES WHILE THEY GET SHOT!? No one. That's who. 
For me it's more like this 
is that Mindy Kahling!? I think it is. I'd be slightly less upset than that kid 
if Mindy Kahling were my Dr. Just sayin. 

Anyway, if you think I'm joking lemme tell you about the time I got my ears pierced. When I was 4 I begged my mom to let me get my ears pierced... or so she said. I don't actually remember "begging" to get holes put in my ears with a plastic gun but who am I to say? I mean, my parents never lied to me.
But I digress... 
On my 5th birthday my mom took me to The Earring Tree in the mall. That was back when you got your ears pierced at a kiosk by a 17 year old "professional" who moonlighted as a babysitter. 
So we get to the kiosk and they open they little swinging door to let me in, swoop me up on to a stool, do the whole marking my ears thing and POW! Shot me right in the ear! I FLIPPED! Seriously, if life handed out awards for 'Most Dramatic Scene in a Shopping Mall' I would've won. My mother, being a mom, tried to reverse psychologize me when I jumped off of the stool and declared "NO MORE!" 

"Ok, ok, we can go. You can have one ear pierced like a boy." 
(For all of you youngsters, it was the 80's, zero boys had both ears pierced - that was strictly a girl thing.)
Much to her surprise it didn't work. (Really? Didn't she know me?) I was all "Saweeet! Let's blow this pop stand! Later you evil ear gun slinging B! Joke's on you! My mom just said we're out!" 
But no. No she didn't. She MADE me sit back down. I immediately started crying again and the piercer girl felt so awful that she gave me a piece of candy. Since I was still hyperventilating I started to choke! And that's when the bitch shot me in the other ear! It was a nasty trick. Talk about kicking me when I'm down. But then it was over and even though I was pouting and whining and "super angry" I was secretly feeling like the coolest 5 year old ever - like mini Madonna. 
Nowadays I don't cry when the needles come out. Instead I whine and cringe, get nauseous and demand to lay down. I've come a long way. 
And that's my story. 

Happy Tuesday everyone! 
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Monday, March 10, 2014

unsettled and heart broken

I hate starting off the week with anything less than an enthusiastic "HOLLER!" But the last few days were rough.They were weird, too weird, unfair and sad and confusing.  
I was having the best week last week ya know and then... 
life- full circle, balance, the good isn't as good without the bad to compare it to right? Well, sometimes you forget that it goes both ways. I do. And sometimes with the little things comes and an extra strong dose of reality. 
Wednesday afternoon I was driving a car full of kitties to one of our adoption centers - to obviously get adopted and have the best lives with people who would love them and take care of them and make sure they were happy forever, but on the way one of the sweetest, seemingly healthy, normal cats started getting sick and he died - he just died, in a crate in the car with me. He died while I was pulling off the highway to try to save him. I didn't know what to do. I pulled onto a road in an industrial part of town and I grabbed him out of his crate, put him on a towel on the front seat and tried to sweep his mouth but it was too late. I couldn't get it together. I was sobbing uncontrollably. I finally drove back to work, with him on the seat next to me because I couldn't bear to stick him back in that crate. And then I went home.The whole thing was surreal. It's not anything I was prepared for. 
They think it was a heart attack. Whatever it was it fucking sucked and isn't something I ever imagined would or could happen and it's definitely not something I can handle witnessing again. And that's the worst - the only bad thing about animals - you can't ever be sure if they know that you really, really love them or that you're trying to help them and that it destroys you when you can't. 
Maybe some of you will read this and think it's silly or stupid or just can't relate but fuck man, this is the stuff that breaks my heart. 
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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

oh the places i'll go

I booked my flights today and ummmmmm
the more I think about it the more I feel like I might throw up 
from excitement, obviously. 

Remember last year when I said that someday I would ...
Well, it's gonna happen!
Because I'm stopping in PARIS!!!

& remember when I introduced you to my favorite artist?
Making it happen! 
Because I'll be in AMSTERDAM too!!!

& I know I've talked about this babe 
Totally happening!!!
Because my last stop before home is 

Ok, ok. I need to keep it together because my heart 
is dangerously close to exploding! 
Happy Wednesday! 

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well that was easy

Before the fun begins I feel like I need to address my lack of keeping up/ commenting on your blog posts lately - it's not that I don't wanna and it's not that I won't, it's that I only have about ZERO extra hours right now so instead of reading & commenting every day (like I want to) I have to set aside one or two days a week. I'm not saying that you're not busy too or that you don't have other important things happening, what I'm saying is that I'm a disorganized freaking mess AND a weird, flakey, waster/loser of time but that's not to be (I hope anyway) confused with one of those selfish, bratty, greedy bloggers. I swear! I care! I'm here. I can't walk and chew gum at the same time though and if I didn't have a job I'd basically be stalking all of you, every second of every day. 

heeeey there! hai. that was such a boring public service announcement wasn't it? anywho - thanks to Erin over at Two Thirds Hazel I have a really cake fun post for today! 
It's Blogmopolitan TwoPointOh (anyone else have to really think about how to spell Blogmopolitan without looking first? yeah me neither. psssh) Are you ready for me to drop some serious knowledge (about myself) in QUIZ FORM?! Thought so. Let's go! 
The End 
&  Happy Birthday Amanda
I hope you have an insanely awesome birthday mama! *mwuah!*

I'm out! 

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Monday, March 3, 2014

(re)CAP & (pre)Cap

Happy Monday er'body! Feels kind of premature to be writing a weekend recap considering I'm only 50% into my weekend but ok! Lets do this. Friday and Saturday consisted of working and falling asleep on the couch like a grandma. Don't tell me I don't know how to party. Yesterday though - things got good. First of all I've been meaning to get back to the gym more than once/twice a week (I've been in a major slump) and I did. Aside from needing to get my shit together just 'cause, soon I'm going to be squeezing myself into uncomfortably tight wet suit on the daily and mama does not want to look like a stuffed sausage. Ew.
I know I briefly mentioned it awhile ago but it's starting to get really, really, really real now! And I need to share (you're going to get sick of hearing about it but I don't care. #sorrynotsorry) At the end of the month I'll be traveling to then from Cape Town, South Africa to Kleinbaai, a settlement less than 4 miles from Gansbaai, the Great White Shark capitol of the world. If you're a fan of Shark Week like me (and who the hell isn't!?) then you've seen footage of sharks doing their thang here.The infamous Shark Alley anyone? Yep, that's the place! 
I'll be spending the first of 4 weeks in S.A. with the Great White Shark Conservation Project. My days will be spent on a boat learning about shark behavior, shark biology, observation, identification, and participating in cage dives! Woooo Hoooo! I've been really excited about this since I committed to it last fall but I tend to get really worked up about things if I don't consciously put them in the back of my mind. I've surprisingly gotten really good at it over the years but after paying the final balance yesterday and allowing myself a little teaser (via pictures and video on Facebook & Youtube) I'm like 
& I'll show you why. 
This is where I'll be sleeping/hanging out when I'm not on the boat 
This is what I'll be surrounded by when I am
This is how I'll be getting up close & personal with nature

*I did a shark cage dive when I was in S.A. last year 
but only a few little dudes graced our presence. 

So there you have it - a tad cheaty for a recap but F'ing legit regardless. 
I've been meaning to post the full deets of my first trip for like, ever and in the spirit of future plans (I'll be spending the last 3 of my 4 weeks in S.A. where it all began) I'll get around to writing that soon - swear. 
Peacoats & Plaid

Dateless in Dallas

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Friday, February 28, 2014

freezing to death - brb

I had such big plans for last night - go to the gym, blog, get to bed early... but I'd had a headache all day and since my new found hobby is being a hypochondriac I took my temperature. These days a headache can only mean one thing as far as I'm concerned, FEVER. My temp was 97.7. Google says that's .9 degrees away from hypothermia! Basically I'm almost freezing to death whaaaaaat?! I was super tempted to take it a step further and webMD my symptoms but I fell asleep instead. That was somewhere around 9pm. I woke up on the couch at 12:30am, ate some cereal, warmed up a cup of coffee from ahem, wednesday (stop judging me) and uh, here I am wide awake, sans headache but freezing. Not gonna lie I'm seriously considering calling in "hypothermic" but I'm not sure how well that will go over. 
Anyway, no Friday 4. I'm sick (ish).
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Wednesday, February 26, 2014


I spent a good part of my morning yesterday planning out the rest of my posts for the week. As soon as I sat down to write today's though I realized that I had an idea and no content. My brain is donzo you guys, checked the f out. Plus I'm writing this as I'm watching Dance Moms and priorities are priorities - #sorryimnotsorry. 
In lieu of my normal wordy blabbering I'm gonna keep it simple & random today. I found this smoothie recipe somewhere on the interweb but uh, I forget where. I took a screen shot of the ingredients and cut off the address - maybe that's a good thing because hole eeeeeeeSHIT, blech, gross, yuk, barf, DEEEESGUSTING! 
kale, greek yogurt, orange + the zest, lemon juice, banana & a plum
looks amazing right!? Well it wasn't. At. All. 
I had to go brush my teeth after 1 sip because I couldn't stop gagging.

at least I did a decent job painting my nails
I couldn't decide if I liked the stripes so... 
I did this but I think I like the stripes now. 
*I hate that I took the pics in different rooms w/different lighting. 
Essie// Haute as Hello
Maybelline Color Show// Orange Fix
Pure Ice// Home Run
Sinful Colors// Strapped

& one I forgot to post last week or the week before? 
Ulta//Mint Condition
Pure Ice//Get Low
WnW// Visually Slimming

& last but not least, I need to share 2 of my new favorite things! 
Taylor over at The Daily Tay suggested the Suave Moroccan Infusion Dry Body Spray as a cuticle softener moisturizer & it's pretty legit! It doesn't feel greasy & smells amazing. 
The star of the show though, my new #1, absolute favorite is the Earth Therapeutics foot peel. I FREAKING LOVE THIS STUFF. I swear it's magic. It's gross magic because your dry skin literally rubs off as you massage it in but it's magic nonetheless. I bet if you closed your eyes and I rubbed my feet on your face you'd think I was rubbing a baby's butt on it. Seriously. ;) 

Annnd on the note, I'm out. See ya tomorrow and word to ya mom. 

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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I'll sad/ happy/ winky face wherever I want!

Guess I'm a little tardy for the weekend recap party but that's because my weekend 
was soooops lame. Lame sauce to the max - I had to work ALL WEEKENDI guess if I had to pick, these would be the top (only) 3 significant happenings since Friday...

1. I cut coupons... a shit ton.
 And even though I'm no good at this coupon thing and in no way close to being an "extreme" couponer I totally get it now! Because I started to find it incredibly hard to keep myself from clipping every single toilet paper coupon I could find. There are SO MANY toilet paper coupons! And if L would let me, I too would have an entire room dedicated to it. We are ALWAYS going to need toilet paper! He clearly hasn't heard that saying "3 things are certain in life - death, taxes and the need for toilet paper." He's Canadian and still learning about America, so I can totally get away with making revisions to cliches and he'd probably believe me.
2. We went to Churn (again) 
And I found my new favorite thing. If ice cream could be my soul mate then their peanut butter ice cream would be. Add 2 of their Kitchen Sink cookies to the mix and I am done. No talking. I'm having a moment. 

3. I watched one of my bitchy cranky co-workers almost have an aneurysm 
over something SO F*CKING STUPID I did. (mwahahaha) I drew a sad face about the size of a nickel, on a white board in one of the "staff only" rooms. That was Friday. Saturday I walked in to the assistant manager's office for our morning meeting where this B looks like she's about to angry cry because a sad face is "unprofessional."
I'm not even joking. I didn't know whether I was trying to keep from laugh crying or angry crying myself. UNprofessional? Ok. This is a place where people talk shit about customers IN FRONT OF other customers, where it's acceptable for a manager to blatantly make fun of an employee TO OTHER EMPLOYEES and where F bombs are thrown no matter who is around. It's so professional that bright blue/pink/yellow/purple hair and multiple facial piercings are so common you'd think it was 1997- but two dots and a parenthesis could severely damage our image - as professionals. 
What planet am I on that being a cry baby, CeeUNextTuesday is totes acceptable but using emoticons is a crime?!

BTW, I'm not even mad. If this had happened a few weeks ago I would've tried to quit again but now the levels of ridiculousness are so staggering I'm just in awe.

So yeah - that was my weekend. Awesome right? I'm having my own weekend now and it consists of staying up SO late! taking naps, mani's and pedi's (compliments of myself), online shopping and a super exciting trip to Ulta where I got like a gazillion dollars worth of stuff for $24 because I used a coupon BOOYAH! and got my free gift. DOUBLE BOOYAH!

Also, yesterday day was my boo Sara's birthday and I found the PURRFECT gift for her (online shopping y'all) and I'm super excited to get it and send it to her. And I love her and I miss her and I wish she would come home to visit me like now and I hope this is her best birthday so far! 

Hope everyone else had only a marginally better weekend than mine! ;)
(Good thing I'm winky facing in my own space.)

Dateless in Dallas

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